Don't get us wrong — we're delighted that the film-actor snobbery of bygone eras has passed, and these days celluloid gods from Demi Moore to Sean Penn are cheerfully passing through their — and our — favorite TV shows. However, we're still waiting for a few holdouts to give in. Perhaps these reluctant tube stars could be sold by a quick review of the imaginative roles we've earmarked for them.

Arnold Schwarzenegger: While playing out a short story arc on The West Wing, the wannabe political animal prepares for his gubernatorial bid by rehearsing debates with the Chatty Cathys of the Oval Office.

Russell Crowe: Those awful duds! That ratty hair! Now that the Oscar winner is married, doesn't he owe it to his bride to get a proper makeover from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy's style council?

Drew Barrymore: Sex and the City's Carrie and Co. have a cow — and cosmos for one — after the incorrigible guy magnet's visit to New York prompts them to rename their hunting ground No-Menhattan.

Michelle Pfeiffer: Mrs. David E. Kelley causes a commotion upon showing up in the offices of Nip/Tuck's botox-mad doctors. For the life (and livelihood!) of them, the plastic surgeons can't find a flaw on her.

Winona Ryder: Sopranos godfather Tony is ready to call the cops when daughter Meadow proves herself to be a chip off the old block by taking on the notoriously inept shoplifter as her partner in crime.

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez: As their wedding nears, the couple pre-honeymoon on Temptation Island, where they must fend off the advances of every man, woman and talent manager in Hollywood.

Tom Cruise: After playing hardball renegotiating his soap-opera contract, Friends's master thespian Joey is stunned to find that a certain top gun has been hired to replace him as Dr. Drake Remore.

Denzel Washington: Since Malcolm X left no room for a sequel, the Academy Award winner jumps at the chance to remake history by passing through 1960s-set American Dreams as the civil-rights leader.

Jim Carrey: A recurring Everybody Loves Raymond gig as the freak next door to the Barones gives the man of a thousand faces a chance to make several hundred of them. On a related note, Marie is thrilled to be relieved of her title as the most annoying person on the block.