"NEVER PASS up a chance to have sex or appear on television," said Gore Vidal famously.
This is just one of his many and best quotes which were sent to me last week by his all-time friend, the agent Boaty Boatwright. (She has one of the fabulous names in show business.)
I thought of this when reading her list of quotes and thinking of her, standing in front of the Gerald Schoenfeld Theatre last Friday night when they observed a moment of silence in memory of Gore Vidal, just outside his revival of "The Best Man." I knew Boaty was there on the sidewalk, raising a glass to Gore at the moment of darkness.
A moment of silence for Gore? He wasn't sentimental but he was soft-hearted. However, I'd think Gore of all people would be snorting from the hereafter about a moment of silence. It was never silence he wanted.
Nothing contributes more to my happiness than the occasional retro look backward to a time when one believed things so firmly that every nuance counted. For instance, I observed Diane Sawyer, setting up on World News the TV contretemps between William F. Buckley Jr. and Gore Vidal on the night Gore's death was announced. It seems quaint to me now that Buckley and Vidal, both giant intellects, at their lowest ebb, resorted to name-calling. And as mother always told me, sticks and stones could break your bones but names couldn't really hurt. I believed her and have never been much involved in worrying about being called a number of unpleasant things. It's a fair balance when one is in the public eye like a cinder.
I just want to share with you a few truly great Gore Vidal quotes supplied by Boaty:
"I can understand companionship. I can understand bought sex in the afternoon, but I cannot understand the love affair. ... A narcissist is someone better looking than you are. ... You know, I've been around the ruling class all my life, and I've been quite aware of their total contempt for the people of this country. ... I suspect that one of the reasons we create fiction is to make sex exciting. ... The United States was founded by the brightest people in the country -- and we haven't seen them since. ... Every four years the naive half who vote are encouraged to believe that if we can elect a really nice man or woman president, everything will be all right. But it won't be. ... The four most beautiful words in our common language -- I told you so. ... There is no human problem which could not be solved if people would simply do as I advise."
And, Liz's own all-time Gore favorite: "Write something, even if it's just a suicide note."
HARDLY ANYTHING that happened over the weekend, or anything I read or saw, seemed terribly entertaining after the latest gun massacre. There seems to be no solution whatsoever. You can't ban guns -- or more reasonably, even suggest further regulations in the U.S. -- without being called un-American. So, deranged people and criminals will continue to have a fine old time here, where the homicide rate is the world's highest.
BUT LET'S not even dwell too much on those six innocent people slaughtered in their house of worship. The NRA might get its feelings hurt.
Instead, let's talk about my favorite quote from the weekend news shows: It's from Republican National Committee chairman Reince Priebus, who called Democratic Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid "a dirty liar." Last week, Harry got up on the floor of the Senate and declared that he knew from "good sources" that Mitt Romney hadn't paid his taxes in a decade. He did not name those sources.
Even die-hard Democrats are somewhat aghast that Reid would use the Senate floor for such remarks, with no back-up. Is this politics or TMZ? Oh, wait -- no difference.
Many think Harry Reid has bought himself -- and the Obama campaign -- a world of trouble. He really is going to have to name names. If Romney has somehow avoided paying taxes for 10 years, it is he who will have -- as Ricky always said to Lucy -- "some 'splaining to do." But then there are some Democrats who say it's just what Harry Reid was supposed to do.
Anyway, by using the phrase "dirty liar," Priebus has brought back the good old days of politics when they really got down to the business of trashing all and sundry in the most colorful terms. Read up on American history. You'll be astounded at what opponents flung at each other.
I'M ALSO cheered by the dominance of women at the London Olympics -- let's hope this shifts the entire matter of women's sports to another level; the same level as the guys -- recognition, respect and financial compensations.
Speaking of the guys, once again I was inexplicably moved by the gold medal won by Britain's favorite Scotsman, tennis ace Andy Murray. He beat out Switzerland's Roger Federer, who defeated Andy at Wimbledon a few weeks ago.
As with Michael Phelps' initial London loss to Ryan Lochte, the press seemed to take pleasure in Murray's Wimbledon stumble, especially his emotional speech, in which he promised his fans, friends and family he would "try harder."
Well, he did try harder and now he is an Olympic gold medalist.
(E-mail Liz Smith at MES3838@aol.com.)