Oprah's old couch must being feeling pretty used, abused and offended!
Oh, you remember, the couch Tom Cruise jumped up and down on, exclaiming his rapturous love for Katie Holmes. At that moment, many people felt Tom not only jumped the couch, but also the shark. I forgave him. It was silly, but he's such a high-energy guy. He was just feeling the moment.
Well, that moment has passed. Tom and Katie -- as by now the whole world knows -- are divorcing after five years and one child, the sometimes ridiculously haute couture Suri. I wonder if Tom will announce, after he did when his marriage to Nicole Kidman foundered, "She knows the reason." (Actually, she didn't.)
This is Tom's third failed marriage. His first was to actress Mimi Rogers, who supposedly introduced him to Scientology. Then came Nicole, whose career seemed stifled until Tom released her from the bonds of matrimony. (Some thought he knew her star "moment" was coming and he didn't like it!)
In any case, on the heels of "Rock of Ages," which is hilarious, but not to moviegoers, Tom has taken a big one-two punch. Oh, oh -- the gossip grist this mill will grind. I don't want to celebrate unhappiness. And I like Tom, but come on. This is hot stuff. I suppose I should have read the tea leaves more carefully when Katie was not present at Tom's Friars Club honor a couple of weeks ago. But he looked so handsome, slim and happy. All he said was that his lovely wife as "away working." I'll say. Working on a settlement!
And of course it came on a Friday. That's when they all announce big stories. Divorces. Rehab. Physical abuse. Like they think it'll be over by Monday. But actually, Tom's divorce bombshell from Nicole was a Monday event. I guess he was braver back then.
This is all especially hilarious because my assistant of many years, Denis Ferrara, used to warn me gravely: "Don't call me from lunch, don't call me at home, don't call me over the weekend unless Tom and Nicole divorce."
In recent years, he changed that to "Tom and Katie," but he never seemed as serious about them. Well, were any of us?
My best to both Tom and Katie. But they are successful adults and life goes on. Suri's life is just starting.
Let's everybody be adult about the child, yes?
(E-mail Liz Smith at MES3838@aol.com.)