"THE SINGLE biggest problem in communication is the illusion that is has taken place," said George Bernard Shaw.

SPOTTED: At the Fountain Coffee Room in the Beverly Hills Hotel -- Demi Moore and her husband, Ashton Kutcher. Both were casually and similarly dressed, down to their flop-flops. They looked like your average young collegiate couple. However she manages it, Miss Moore, well into her 40s, appears as fresh-faced as her mate.

The Twitter-obsessed couple admits that this abbreviated form of messaging has affected their own private life. Demi laughed: "I don't think he ever says anything to me that is more than 140 characters long!" (Don't worry, honey, unless you're Dorothy Parker and Noel Coward, conversation can be overrated.)

In the works for Moore and Kutcher: a documentary on their plunge into Twitterworld. (Which, despite its immature misuse, can be a lifesaver, literally -- Miss Moore and actress Nia Vardalos employed Twitter to help a suicidal teenager over the weekend.)

Whoopi Goldberg is a movie star, the host of TV's "The View" one of the founding WoW's of the Wowowow.com Web site and an inspiration to all of us. She has been down in New Orleans briefly to play God in another movie.

I remarked to Whoopi that George Burns had played God in a film where producer Jerry Weintraub wanted him to appear as the Almighty, without his toupee. But George absolutely refused to doff his wig and played God by his own lights.

I then added to Whoopi that actor Morgan Freeman had also played God in a movie with Jim Carrey. Whoopi laughed: "I have two up on Morgan. I have played God in three films now."

So Whoopi is still champ, in more ways than one. They are also after her to star in the film of the runaway popular hit novel "The Help."

THERE REALLY is something in the air out there about Jennifer Aniston. How surprising to open up Yahoo's home page over the weekend to find this as one of the major headlines: "Anniston Movie Fails to Get No. 1 Spot (Not Even No. 2)."

So I read the story to find out that the poorly reviewed "The Bounty Hunter" came in a respectable third for the weekend with a slightly higher gross than expected. This rates a negative headline?

I've come to the conclusion that men really like Miss Aniston and women really don't. (Maybe Yahoo! employs a lot of women?) Perhaps it's because although she is lauded for her good looks, she is looked on as a loser in love -- and then she goes and makes romantic comedies where she generally gets the guy. The nerve! Women seem to have no respect for her, though she lives as quiet a life as is possible for an attractive actress, and doesn't fall down drunk or make a spectacle of herself in other ways. And she doesn't whine over Brad. That's like some urban myth. Women do like to read about Jen -- so they can dislike her more!

But I think her single status is irksome. Everybody supported her when Brad bolted for Angelina, and everybody expected her to embark on one (at least) fabulous affair-leading-to-marriage to "show them." (Brad and Angie.) However, Miss Aniston went on to live a kind of normal life, a couple of quirky romances, no lasting fire, and apparently no desperate need for marriage or children. (On the latter, few female celebs can get away with being childless and still hold a female audience -- Oprah and Katharine Hepburn being the exceptions. Oh, and Kim Novak, before she fled Hollywood.) Aniston, just like regular folks, is still searching.

Maybe that's it. She's too regular. She lacks the neurotic edge that can help a star connect. The New York Times in reviewing "The Bounty Hunter," referred to her "easy, nicely worn charm." I guess sometimes charm is not enough. Well, not enough to be number one, anyway.

I didn't get to "All About Me" with Dame Edna and Michael Feinstein until the second night, but on that evening they had the audience, which included Kelsey Grammer, on the floor. This is one brief shining theater outing that was largely misunderstood and underrated by the critics. Some of them harped on how the great Dame blew singer-musician Feinstein off the stage. But wasn't that mismating largely the point? For true comic invention and fierce fun between Edna and Michael (grotesque farce and perceptive sensitivity) there was quite a lot of excellent comic acting going on. The Dame was over the top. The singer was puzzled, amazed and intense.

I laughed from the overture, made up of a mixture of Broadway hits, through Edna throwing Michael off the stage as she launched into her Chlamydia bit -- and on through the brilliant stage manager bully forcing the two stars to kiss and make up. (Jodi Capeless, take a big bow for your big wonderful voice.)

Throughout you see Michael Feinstein's fine hand with the music, the medleys and various intelligent bits that bring him and Edna from "me" to "we". Oh yes, the orchestra on stage is simply superb.

I loved Edna's call for a "Sondheim free zone" now that the composer is "100 years old." I also love her usual sadistic attack on the audience, her incomparable gowns and her legs. "The Ladies Who Lunch" at Swifty's is the tour de force of the night, what with Edna's three immovable drinks as the stars. Feinstein is the perfect foil for Edna, his urban sophistication crushed by her Aussie vulgarity. Don't miss "The Dingo Ate My Baby Song." "Saturday Night Live" would benefit from transferring the stars on mismatched twosomes (Alec Baldwin and his daughter). This show would go over big on TV!

You will really have a great time at this show. Don't let the N.Y. Times be the killjoy of your theater-going experience.

Give Michael and Edna a chance to show you how opposites really attract.

(E-mail Liz Smith at MES3838@aol.com, or write to her c/o Tribune Media Services, 2225 Kenmore Ave., Suite 114, Buffalo, NY 14207.)