"AMERICAS, ASIA to merge into supercontinent ... geologists report it will form over the next 100 million years or more."

I have absolutely nothing to do with USA Today but it is a super newspaper in my book and the one I take most pleasure in holding in my hands and reading every weekday.

The above is a typical story from this newspaper. And here I was worrying about what was happening tomorrow? Now I'll relax. We are drifting toward the North Pole, but it will be a while before we notice it.

AFTER EIGHT seasons, Fox is pulling the plug on "House." This series stars the celebrated Brit Hugh Laurie as a pain-wracked, limping, close-to-sadistic doctor. Every episode is the same -- somebody gets sick, misdiagnosed, tortured, misdiagnosed again, tortured again and finally (usually) they are saved. Dr. House is as mean as a snake to everybody.

Hugh Laurie has been brilliant in this series, winning several Golden Globe and SAG Awards. But I bet he's relieved that his stay in the hospital is over. The actor actually developed troubles with his leg, after years of using a cane on the show. (And never forget, Hugh played the father of the mouse, "Stuart Little," in three movies. And he sings, too!)

YOU'RE always reading here and in the rest of the press about Michael's restaurant -- the Internet, TV news, book publishing and cafes that exists on both coasts for the media cognoscenti.

In New York, the owner Michael McCarty is usually in evidence; that is, when he's not in Santa Monica at his "other" place.

But a big tribute to Michael is upcoming on Feb. 16 at Pier 60 when New York's famous chefs will honor him to help the "Careers through Culinary Arts Program," or CCAP for short. This nifty charity is groundbreaking and raises $3 million each year in scholarships for underserved teenagers who want to cook for a living.

Here's the rub. By the time I got all the details and was told to be at Pier 60 in Manhattan at 4:30 for a press briefing on Feb 16, the damned event was sold out. But you can still call 212-974-7111 and get on the waiting list. Arrive about 6:30 and I'll bet, eventually, you'll get in to sample the goodies of just about everybody who is anybody who cooks for a living. There'll be creations of food from 30 famous VIP men and women in white toques.

You'll also get to see the one and only Bette Midler and her hubby Martin von Haselberg who are honorary chairs. (They love to eat! And Bette loves to pick up the aftermath and clear garbage for her New York Restoration Project.)

Michael himself is a generous guy and although I often twit him about the food served at 24 West 55th, I will say that his Dover sole is the best of any in New York City!

YOU READERS know that I'm a magazine junkie, so it pains me when newsstand sales fall off, but I do want to compliment the makeover of Glamour. Editor Cynthia (Cindi) Leive is smart, smart, smart and with the talented actress Amanda Seyfried on the cover, she has all bases covered. There is great photography galore, fabulous-looking men and women, and a plethora of new short takes. I read almost every word from Kesha to Mila Kunis to Jessica Alba to J. Lo to Gaga to Mindy Kaling -- and hey, I'm getting weary, Glamour offers so much.

THERE IS a great photograph on the back page of The Hollywood Reporter -- the trade magazine's "nostalgia" spot. This one shows Lou Adler, Britt Ekland, David Geffen and Cher and Jack Nicholson and Anjelica Huston at the 1974 Grammys. Yikes! Geffen looks 10 years old, Cher is tanned to a rich, dangerous chestnut, Jack Nicholson still looked like Jack Nicholson and Anjelica Huston doesn't look at all like the mature stunner of later years and today. This was the moment in time that Geffen, enjoying an affair with Cher, helped free her from a binding contract with Sonny Bono. Cher and David were Hollywood's hot "It" couple, for a season or two.

THREE BOOKS I want to remark on in passing. One is titled "I'd Rather Be in Charge" by the attractive Charlotte Beers, a former teacher, CEO, chairman and undersecretary for public diplomacy and public affairs to Secretary of State Colin Powell. She was the guest of my longtime friends Kathy and Bill Raynor in Manhattan with a kickoff for her new work. Charlotte has been praised by the likes of Suze Orman and Martha Stewart. And she's from Texas, so that makes her special.

Here's a quote from the kickoff party:

"My books are illustrations of the invisible. ... I believe in the leadership of women!"

THE OTHER new book "Unbinding the Heart" from Agapi Stassinopoulos is another example of sage advice to women from one whose very name means "love." It is pointless to relieve the delightful Agapi from her obvious identification with her famous sister, Arianna Huffington. Agapi is Arianna's strong right arm. Hers is a delighted reminder that we "isolate ourselves, feeling alone, disconnected, and unheard; and in doing so, we immobilize our spirit, stifle our authentic expression and cut off our joy."

Agapi tells us how to release and liberate ourselves. Fascinating works; both books talk about "joy," a rare experience these days.

LAST I'll add "The Persian Room Presents: An Oral History of New York's Most Magical Night Spot." Having seen the gifted Kay Thompson and the fabled Williams Brothers sing and dance and do their stuff at this nightclub, I was delighted to lay hands on Patty Farmer's memorable nostalgic work.

It boasts memories of Andy Williams, Eddy Duchin, Lilo, Victor Borge, Lainie Kazan, Carol Bruce, Billie Holiday, Jane Froman, Bob Hope, Burns and Allen, Count Basie, Kaye Ballard, Jane Morgan, Carol Channing, Wally Cox, Leslie Uggams, Patti Page, Dinah Shore, the Maguire Sisters, Jane Powell, Liza Minnelli, Ethel Merman, Eartha Kitt, Abbe Lane and so many more.

The photos are wonderful and maybe in heaven there'll be a nightclub like the Persian Room.

(E-mail Liz Smith at MES3838@aol.com, or write to her c/o Tribune Media Services, 2225 Kenmore Ave., Suite 114, Buffalo, NY 14207.)